10 Mistakes on a First Date That Everyone Makes

The first date always brings excitement. I remember being nervous on my first one, and some slip-ups really ruin everything. But they're easy to avoid.

1. Talking Too Much About Yourself

People who ask questions seem noticeably more attractive. At least, that's what those who tested it say.

It's tempting to boast about your successes to impress. But the conversation turns into a monologue, and your partner gets bored. Better to alternate: tell about your work, then ask: "And how's work for you? What hooks you about it?" This makes it easier to find common ground. Before the date, think of a couple of questions about hobbies or movies. This shows you care.

2. Arriving Late

Punctuality simply shows that you value the other person's time. Arrive 5-10 minutes early.

Even a 15-minute delay can ruin everything, especially if your partner is waiting in traffic or in the rain. In the city, transportation is a total lottery, so build in extra time. If the date is at 7:00 PM, leave at 6:20. And if you're running late, text or call right away: "Sorry, stuck in traffic, be there in 10 minutes." I always do that, and it works. For route planning, use Google Maps or Yandex.Navigator, and keep a taxi as a backup.

3. Being on Your Phone

Put your phone away. Nothing compares to full attention.

We're all glued to social media, but on a date, it looks like complete ignoring. Imagine: you've just started talking, and you're already scrolling through your feed. Put the gadget in your pocket or bag screen down. If the call is important, apologize and step away. Set it to "Do Not Disturb" for an hour or two. Real conversation is way more interesting than scrolling, right?

4. Discussing Exes

On a first date, this is off-limits. Look to the future, not the past.

Chatting about exes easily sparks jealousy or awkwardness. Even if you want to share a lesson learned, wait for the second date. Better to ask about weekends: "What do you usually do on Saturdays?" The atmosphere warms up right away. If the topic comes up, say gently: "Let's not go there, better to think about where we can go next time." It sounds mature, and your partner will appreciate it.

5. Not Listening

Listen for real. Paraphrase what you heard to show interest.

Everyone nods, but their mind is elsewhere. Your partner senses it and shuts down. Listening isn't silence—it's reactions: a nod, a question. If they're talking about Italy, say: "Cool! Is the pizza in Naples really that tasty?" I've tried this technique—repeat a couple of words from their speech. The conversation comes alive, and the connection strengthens.

6. Trying to Impress

Just be yourself. Honesty beats any bragging.

Exaggerating—from stories about a "million-dollar business" to hints at your car—is silly because the truth comes out later. At the start, people value reality. Nervous? Say: "A bit excited, but it's great that we're here." Before the meeting, recall three things you're proud of about yourself and weave them in naturally. Chemistry comes from openness, not a show.

7. Choosing a Bad Location

A noisy bar is a mistake. Pick a quiet cafe where you can talk properly.

The location decides a lot: in a crowd or with loud music, you won't hear a thing. A cafe with couches or a park if the weather's good will work. Find out in advance if your partner is vegetarian so the menu fits. Read reviews on 2GIS, book a table. Suggest: "How about downtown, that cafe? Or do you have ideas?" It shows care.

8. Asking Too Personal Questions

Don't rush. Give time to warm up.

"How many exes?" or "Why the breakup?"—this scares people off right away. Start simple: work, hobbies, plans. If they dive deeper, follow their lead. I use levels: first superficial, then interests, personal—only if it's comfortable. That way, no one gets tense.

9. Not Suggesting a Concrete Plan

"Let's meet sometime" is an empty phrase. Name a day and place.

That leaves everything up in the air, and chances for a second date fade. Be specific: "Saturday at 6:00 PM at 'Dawn'?" If it went well, at the end: "Had a great time. Let's do next week? Tuesday or Thursday work?" Two or three options—and the schedule is considered.

10. Ignoring Body Language

Half of communication is in gestures. Sit openly, make eye contact, smile.

Crossed arms or looking away scream "back off," even if words are kind. Keep feet shoulder-width, arms relaxed, eyes—60% of the time. A smile eases tension. Mirror your partner: if they lean in, you do too. Practice in front of a mirror so you don't feel awkward.

One More Tip

If you get stuck in conversation, think of starters—simple phrases on common topics. For example, if you both like coffee and travel, ask: "What's your best travel memory?" For introverts, it's a lifesaver, especially when nerves are high. I've tried similar things, and they really help get the talk going.

Read Also

• Psychology of Attractiveness: What Science Says
• How to Build Trust on the First Meeting
• How to Choose the Perfect Spot for a First Date